Aliens are among us!

My friends and followers (yes I do have friends, so ner), it has recently come to my somewhat paranoid attention that there may in fact be aliens living among us right now upon Planet Earth!!

Before you cast your eyes that way, no chavs are not aliens! They don't have the necessary intelligence required to wash behind their ears let alone pilot advanced starships!!

Actually it hasn't really been brought to my attention, I just have a theory and because it's my blog I'm making it fact! So deal with it MoFo's!!

So now I have my little bit of rambling out the way, I talk too much when I type, I'm going to put forth my cracked theory! You don't have to read it, but it would be the path of wisdom to!

First of all look at this face:

Does that look like the face of any natural Earth creature??

Ok it does look like a far more appealing face than that seen on your average council estate. But still, it's alien!!!

If you hadn't already guessed, that is the face of a giraffe. A familiar sight in zoo's and safari parks the world over. Not something you'd believe is a life form from another planet, a being that has been sent to infiltrate Earth and spy out its secrets!! 

Can you see that evil, alien look about them? Those long necks are not natural and don't make them look cute!

Now I may just be paranoid, but I'm fairly certain that an army of giraffe's is even now gearing up for a mass invasion from space! When they arrive and conquer us they will herd us all up, stretch our necks to a height they find aesthetically pleasing, stick us in a bloody small enclosed field and make us eat leaves right off the top of trees!!!

I don't know about you, but the thought of future neck stretching is terrifying, not to mention that it would make us all look extremely weird! Oh and leaves will never be as tasty as a Burger King double whopper!

So I'm preparing for the inevitable now! I'm wearing my tin foil hat every time I go near Chester zoo, the long necks won't get no secrets out of me ... not that I know any real secrets ya know! I will be among the first members of the anti-giraffe resistance!

Hmm it appears that I've not explained why I think giraffe's are aliens! Well they have long necks and they look odd!* That's all the reasoning I need!

*No offence intended to any giraffe's reading this.....