So in my ongoing quest to find the perfect career to work up to retirement age in I've taken to looking a bit further than the usual factory, shop and telesales jobs that dominate the careers section of the classified pages!
I have found some interesting ones.....
.....by interesting I mean weird, disgusting and sometimes dangerous!
Still if the pay is good.....
Here are 15 of the worlds weirdest and wackiest jobs.
I may just have to send out my CV.....
1. Theme park mascot
Sounds like a great job doesn't it? Dress up as Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck or even a bloody teletubby and walk around a theme park all day long. But would it really be all that good? I mean you're stuck inside a rubber suit so you're going to sweat buckets, especially on scorching hot days. You can't go on any of the rides, which is a bummer if you're a rollercoaster junkie. Regardless of whether you're having a bad day or not, you have to be excessively cheerful. I wonder if it has a good pension scheme? Hmm.....
Pros: It's easy money and easy work.
Cons: Harassment by hordes of sugar fuelled kids, unable to slap them all away.
2. Train pusher
Are you naturally aggressive? Do you like to push people around? I'm none of those, being a happy, peace filled soul, but even I'm enthralled at this job! From what I've read of it, it sounds a bit like playing Tetris with humans. Basically what it is, Japan's subways get crowded, the bright sparks in charge of the subway system employ people to decrowd the subway. They do this by pushing as many people on to trains as is possible to fit, like packing sardines in a can. So it's not actually pushing trains, which would be quite silly!
Pros: You can work off pent up energy, get immense job satisfaction.
Cons: You may not be popular with people, you might get punched a lot.
3. Professional sleeper
This could be a dream job. Literally. Like most other people I like my bed and there are some mornings when I really don't want to climb out from under those covers. So why not be a professional sleeper? Sure you get tested a lot while you sleep and maybe asked lots of odd questions about your dreams, but you're in bed, getting paid for being in bed, that's cool.
Pros: You can sleep on the job and get paid for it.
Cons: You still have to get out of bed at some point.
4. Hair boiler
Now I believe this has to be one of the worlds most highly sought after jobs, boiling animal hair in a vat until it curls. Sounds awesome doesn't it? But there's more, occasionally valves have to opened and closed, allowing water and steam to come in and out of the vat. It's the dream job! Have I sold it to anyone yet? I can't make it any more exciting...
Pros: You're earning money.
Cons: You'll bore people in the pub if you talk about your job.
5. Snake milker
Do you want an exciting job with a high element of danger? Do you want to help save the lives of countless unlucky people every year? Well then snake milking is the way forward! If you can avoid slight misfortunes like death, then this job is highly rewarding. You work every day with venomous and deadly serpents, collecting the venom and sending it away to be turned in to the goodness of anti-venom. Definitely a great choice of career.
Pros: It's never a dull job.
Cons: Possibility of agonising death.
6. Vomit collector
Here's another theme park based job, only with this one you're not dressed up in a ridiculous, rubber cartoon character suit. Sounds like an improvement right? Well I guess it is if you consider cleaning up the remains of someone's dinner after it's been regurgitated to be interesting work. Still you can always brag that you work at a theme park, you don't have to mention that you clean up rollercoaster induced sick.
Pros: You're not going to be hassled by annoying kids.
Cons: You might get put off dinner, a lot.
7. Paint drying monitor
Ever thought to yourself that you'd rather watch paint dry than doing your current job? Well now you can! Interested? It's actually quite an important job you know, if not exactly excitingly stimulating. It does have some high points though, sometimes you have to go up and touch the paint to assess its tackiness. That's high drama right there! Some paints do dry quicker than others, by as much as.....
.....bloody hell, even writing a review about this job is boring enough to make me drift off!
Pros: It's not back breaking labour.
Cons: Yes, you really are watching paint dry.
8. Armpit sniffer
For all those out there with armpit and sniffing fetishes, here is the job for you. You get to fulfil your strange obsession and provide a valuable service to the community. Officially the job is titled Sniffologist but armpit sniffer is a far more accepted name. Essentially you're spending each and every day sniffing the armpits of sweaty people to affirm whether deodorants are working properly and whether they smell appealing. It's a noble cause right? You're making sure humanity smells nice and stays BO free, 'tis very worthwhile.
Pros: You'll know exactly which deodorants to buy in store.
Cons: There's some smelly people out there.
9. Pet food tester
If you're a pet lover you'll want to look after your small and furry family members by making sure they have the best of everything and the best food above all. But how do we know that the food we're buying is everything it says on the box or tin? After all a dog can't scoff down a bowl of Pedigree Chum and offer its learned opinion on the quality and nutritional elements of the meat, can it? This is where you come in, in your highly skilled job you have to test and evaluate each product. Is there a good balance between rabbit and duck in that tin of Aldi dog food? Do those cat biscuits taste like salmon or undercooked calamari? These are questions that must have answers if our pets are to lead happy and healthy lives. Pet food testers are an important spoke on the wheel of life.
Pros: You never have to worry about having money for food, you're eating all day.
Cons: You may develop a tendency to bark, sniff peoples arses, hiss or claw peoples eyes out.
10. Ostrich babysitter
I bet when you left school you never considered babysitting as a viable career option, did you? I don't blame you, it wasn't exactly high on my dream careers list either. But as we get older we want to do things that aren't very strenuous. So sitting in a deck chair, in a hot country, listening to tunes on the iPod while watching a flock of overgrown chickens seems like perfection. There has to be a catch right? I mean no job can be so completely easy can it? Well apart from the occasional egg stealing poacher (ostrich eggs are valuable) and ostrich bitch fight, it really is easy. Of course when ostrich's get a temper on then things can get quite interesting and care has to be taken that it's not you who's getting buried head first in the sand. But hey that can't happen a right lot.....
Pros: Sitting in the sun listening to music and tanning nicely.
Cons: How do you explain to your mates that you got battered by a big bird?
11. Chicken sexer
Right, hold on here! Before all you weirdo's and perverts rush to send off your CV's, this job does NOT mean you get to have sex with chickens! Eeeeewwwww!!! In fact, despite it's fairly lurid title, this is a very professional job. You are required to check if a newly hatched chick is male or female. There a few methods of establishing this, but essentially it's a job for a normal, non-pervy person to take on. Well I say normal but you do have to be a bit coldhearted. Myself I think I'd pass on this one.
Pros: You get to look at cute, fluffy chickens.
Cons: If you tell anyone your job title you could end up being arrested for bestiality.
12. Shark tank cleaner
If you've ever seen Jaws and felt terrified by Spielberg's rubber monster, then this is probably not the job for you. However if you want a job were you are happy to clock in each day, maybe do unpaid overtime and talk about it constantly in the pub, then you're on to a winner with cleaning shark tanks. I admit it does sound a tad bit dangerous, but surely a bit of danger is preferable to staring at a computer screen all day? You're getting to swim around with beasties that are considerably further up the food chain than you are, but you know it's never going to be dull and you won't have to deal with irate morons screeching at you down the phone every day with problems you couldn't give a damn about. This is the job I want!
Pros: You'll have a valid excuse for using the Jaws theme as your phone ringtone.
Cons: When it gets to lunchtime your workmates might just decide to eat you.
13. Lego sculptor
Well, what can I say. Yes this really IS a job! How cool would that be, spending your days building fantastic stuff out of Lego and earning a wage for it! This has to be one of the most self-rewarding jobs in the world! Ever! Sure you're not finding a cure for cancer, ending world hunger or discovering the mysteries of the universe, but you're making a huge difference to the enjoyment of countless generations of snotty nosed kids and just maybe gaining a few choice curses off countless generations of cleaning obsessed parents. Admit it, you'd love to play with Lego for your job.
Pros: You get to go to work and be paid for doing kid stuff.
Cons: Have you ever stood on a block of Lego?
14. Monkey trainer for disabled people
I've always dreamed of having a monkey butler, a little, furry servant to do all the household chores that I'm far too lazy to do. Never did I once think though that they actually existed. But they do! Now before you all rush out to place your orders for trained monkeys there's one little detail you should be aware of; they are strictly for the use of the disabled only. So what's the next best thing to having a monkey butler? Well training a monkey butler of course! Can you imagine the time, dedication, effort and fun that goes in to a job like this? It has to be an interesting job and you're also providing a very worthwhile service to a lot of hard up people, improving their lives no end. So if you're looking for an exciting and stimulating career choice, well look no further.
Pros: Always an interesting and varied day at work.
Cons: Monkey's do fling shit you know.
15. Dog yoga teacher
This has to be one of the strangest and most irrelevant jobs around. Teaching people to do yoga, with their dogs! I'll never look down on anyone's profession, but if you ever become a doga (dog yoga) teacher then I'm going to chuckle at you. Unsurprisingly it's another facet of American culture that has got off its lead and snuffled its way across the pond. Apologies to Americans here, but you don't half come up with some daft stuff!
After a bit of a read around I can see the odd few benefits to doga, calming down stressed mutts and such, but overall I still think it's a daft and rather pointless career option. But each to their own...
Pros: You get to help dog and human become one with each other.
Cons: You may look like an idiot.
So there we go, if you consider your present job mundane and ordinary and completely lacking in uniqueness, then I have given you a few different options for a new career path.
You can thank me later with alcohol and a cut of your first wage!
