Thursday 5 July 2012

A survey of sorts.

My writing has suffered a bit this past week, due to reasons I cannot divulge. So in an effort to get back into the mindset of the keyboard warrior (other than typing silly Facebook status'), I'm going to write up a list of questions, in varying degrees of ridiculousness and seriousness! Ya never know, you may be able to answer some of them...

There will be no order to these, so tough shit if you expect some!


  1. What is the Higgs-Bosun?
  2. Why is there never anything good on TV late at night?
  3. What possesses people to go on Jeremy Kyle?
  4. Why is it illegal to have sex in public?
  5. Is there life on other planets?
  6. If you took an x ray of David Cameron would you find signs of intelligence?
  7. Is Wayne Rooney the missing link?
  8. Are all Americans gun-toting maniacs?
  9. Who would win in a fight; Sooty off the Sooty show or George from Rainbow?
  10. Is it possible that mermaids could have invented tit-wanks?
  11. How can I survive the zombie apocalypse using only a Muse concert ticket for a weapon?
  12. Why are the England football team so shit?
  13. Should I spend the next few nights drinking?
  14. Will penguins one day rule the Earth?
  15. Why are British summers so wet?
  16. How the fuck did Justin Bieber become so popular?
  17. Why is the grass always greener on the other side?
  18. Do you know what the matrix is?
  19. Barring a bullet, is there any way to stop Lionel Messi?
  20. Has 50 Shades of Grey raised women's expectations of men?
  21. Why does a drink that is bought for you taste better than one you bought yourself?
  22. Is it true that the drugs don't work?
  23. Should you tell someone that you like them and risk friendship, them laughing in your face?
  24. Who's to blame for the recession?
  25. Could dwarf kicking be introduced as an Olympic sport?
  26. Why do you always look your worst on passport pictures?
  27. Porn, is it a good or bad thing?
  28. Can I market my face as an acceptable Halloween mask?
  29. Who was Jack the Ripper?
  30. What would be a really cool superhero?
I'll end this at 30, a nice round number that can be divided by a few things!

2 comments:

  1. 1, the Higgs boson is a boson particle named after Peter Higgs - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Higgs_boson

    2. there is – it's called crappy teleshopping

    3. the promise of free aftercare/paternity test and a free hotel for the night

    4. because I have an urge to kick people down escalators if they even kiss in front of me

    5. Probably. Whether or not they've visited here is another question altogether.

    6. No but you would find a lot of blue blood

    7. No, he's an overrated granny shagger

    more tomorrow :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. 8. Read Sam Harris
    9. Sooty, as long as he had Matthew Corbett power, not if he was just laying flat and empty on a table
    10. Mermaids aren't real, as was, thank god, proved by science earlier this week
    11. I already told you this
    12. Because nowhere near enough money is put into youth squads in England, so our best teams end up having to import the good players
    13. yes.
    14. No, even though they all look good in a tux
    15. Because I want to sunbathe. Also – el nino/la nina
    16. horny teenage girls. It's nothing new
    17. Because it's in our natures to see the negatives in our own lives, and weed out everything but the positives in everyone else's life. It's what keeps us striving to achieve things rather than just stagnating and dying.
    18. The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to. 
    19. Yes. Mr. T.
    20. No but Twilight has
    21. Not true. Drinking is good full stop
    22. See above
    23. No. I am proof that it doesn't work
    24. The bankers and every MP for at least the last 40 years
    25. I sincerely hope so
    26. Because it shows up the demons in our souls
    27. Good. Very good.
    28. Don't be a twat
    29. Theory is he was a surgeon, but no one really knows
    30. I would, and am. I do everything except fight crime because I can't be arsed

    ReplyDelete