Here's 10p.....

Go phone your parents and tell them you won't be home tonight!

I can pretty much guess that using that line would get you laughed at, slapped or both should you ever have the balls to go and say it to a girl. Yes I know people don't use payphones anymore, but that was a semi-popular line when I first started going out.

So brought upon by nothing at all, other than that line just appearing in my mind, I'm going to do a top ten list for cheesy, corny, witty and rude chat up lines. Some I've heard and some have been used on friends of mine.

Before I start though, I must stress that I've never used any of the following, or indeed any chat up line. For one I don't have the confidence to believe they'd work for me, for another women laugh at me enough without me giving them any extra ammunition.

Off we go...

One
I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I'll make your bedrock!
Seriously this one is terrible, it's a crap pun never mind a crap chat up line.

Two
Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven
There's not much I can say to that, other than whoever uses it deserves a slap.

Three
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together!
I'm guessing this is meant to be quite romantic, in a weird, creepy way...

Four
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Heard that said by various friends (who shall remain nameless to protect their embarrassment), surprisingly it worked once.

Five
Is that a mirror in your pants? 'cause I can see myself in them!
*sigh* Bad, just bad!

Six
Nice legs, what time do they open?
Well that's a smooth one isn't it? Almost guaranteed to have no success at all.

Seven
Do you believe in love at first sight ... or should I walk past again?
Does that actually have any chance of working?? Hmmm...

Eight
Nice dress, it would look great on my bedroom floor.
Corny with a hint of wit, might get a smile that...

Nine
Do you believe in casual sex, or should I get dressed up?
That one I like, definitely gotta have the nerve to say it though.

Ten
The only time I'd kick you out of bed is to fuck you on the floor!
Using that as an opening line would require more confidence than I'll ever possess. Friend of mine tried it once, we had to leave the pub not long after because the girl and her friends couldn't stop laughing at him. Cruel maybe?

That concludes my list. Incidentally any women reading this feel free to give your verdict on the above lines, or indeed on any that you have been subjected to!